We should all be asking others to guard our hearts, even if we don't use those exact words. In books I've read and chastity talks I've gone to I have been told that men should guard the hearts of women. I believe, as a woman, I'm asked to do the same thing. In the past summers I've worked with another woman who is extremely interested in the philosophy of what it means to be a man or a woman and we've had several conversations. We've asked ourselves, and others, what it means when we say we need to guard each other's hearts.
For starters we need to watch what we say and how we act. It is not fair to lead others on when we may not be interested in furthering our friendship and perhaps entering a relationship with them. We need to be modest in all we do; the way we present ourselves in actions and appearance. An argument has been issued that modesty isn't "fair" because why shouldn't a woman be able to dress how she wants to; if a guy lusts after her and has inappropriate thoughts due to the lack of clothing on her body then it must be his fault! That is not a fair argument and it doesn't even make sense. If we love others as we are called to do, then we should will the good of them. This means not drawing attention to one's body, whether female or male, for the sake of another person being tempted to sin. There is a plethora of other ideas that would also argue for modesty, but for the same of time I will not be going into those today.
So, guarding another's heart. There can be many fine lines within this! What's the difference between flirting and personality traits of a person!?! An example would be someone who naturally touches other peoples' arms when talking to them verses a person who is purposefully touching another's arms for the sake of flirting. Confusing, oh, I know!
There can be so many mixed signals between two people and sometimes they are very misleading. To guard another's heart we need our intentions to be clear. We need to know our own intentions with the words and actions we proceed with, but we should try to make them clear to the other person. I.E. don't flirt for the sake of flirting! And maybe if you are a "natural toucher," refrain a bit when talking with a person of the opposite sex so they don't get the wrong impression.
I feel as if I've been babbling on just now! This all flows from my own experiences from recent times. It can be difficult to be a single woman, out of college, who hopes to one day be married and raise a family. Crushes can develop easily, especially from misread signals. Women tend to read into things way too much, often not for our benefit. "He did this, so was he flirting with me?" I suppose only time will tell, and until then I'll trust in God's plan and still be waiting for pursuit.
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