Relevant to the last post...

Here is an article on BustedHalo.com that talks about Sex, Dating, and Catholicism.

I was bothered by something in this article though... The author, Dr. Christine B. Whelan, says that people are confused on the Church's teaching on chastity and sex; people think that the Church is more for living a "chaste" (or rather, a life of celibacy) and might be "anti-marriage." Whelan says "Chastity, however, is something that is valued by the Church as the way we guard our sexuality before marriage." No, sorry, you're wrong. I think she is a bit confused... The Catechism of the Catholic Church defines chastity as "the successful integration of sexuality within the person and thus the inner unity of man and his bodily and spiritual being" (CCC 2337). It doesn't say anything about how this limits chastity. A person is to live a chaste life no matter what vocation they are being called to. Yes, chastity can certainly be celibacy, that is, if you are not married. But a married couple should also be seeking to live out the virtue of chastity. It means not using the other for one's pleasure and giving completely of yourself. Chastity means so much, yet people know so little!

Our Unhooked Culture

Last year I came across the book Unhooked: How Young Women Pursue Sex, Delay Love and Lose at Both. The author, Laura Sessions Stepp, interviewed girls in high school and college about their experiences in the "hookup culture" and how this has affected them. I think I read most of the book last year, but I recently bought it to re-read. Tonight I finished Section One: "Hooking up: What it Means."

Stepp explores what "hooking up" means, which, she discovered, cannot be specifically defined. It could be anything from kissing to sex. When she interviewed students at Duke they came up with answers such as "don't have to work for it, immediate gratification, no relationship, lack of communication, no emotional fulfillment, and doesn't teach intimacy" (Stepp, 21). People find glamor in these random hook ups because they see them as fun, effortless, and they find a false value in doing so.

It is the complete opposite of what we were created for. God created us to feel love, and yes, to feel pain. Sexual intimacy is for the union of two people, a man and a woman. It is to be self-giving, not selfishly taking from the other person. And love isn't just a feeling, it is what we have to be, what we are called to do. How can you love another person by using them for your self benefit? Love is tough, sacrifice is difficult, but we are called to discipline.

Something to Think About

An Anonymous Prayer:

Wait until you are satisfied, fulfilled, and content with being loved by Me alone, with giving yourself totally, unreservedly to Me alone.

I love you, my child. But until you discover that only in Me is your satisfaction to be found, you will not be capable of the perfect human relationship that I have planned for you. You will never be united with another as you desire to be until you are united with Me, exclusive of anyone or anything else, exclusive of any other desires and belongings.

I want you to stop planning and stop wishing, and allow Me to give you the most thrilling plan that exists - one that you can't imagine. I want you to have the very best. Please allow Me to bring it to you.

Just keep your eyes on Me, expecting the greatest things.
Keep experiencing that satisfaction knowing that I AM.
Keep learning and listening to the things I tell you.
You must be patient.

Don't be anxious.
Don't worry.
Don't look around at the things others have.
Don't look at the things you think you want.
Just keep looking at Me, or you will miss what I want to give you.

And then, when you are ready, I will surprise you with a love far more wonderful than you could ever dream. You see, until you are ready, and until the one I have for you is ready ... until you are both satisfied exclusively with Me and the life I have prepared for you, you won't be able to experience the love that exemplifies your relationship with Me ... and this is perfect love.


This certainly makes sense to me, being satisfied with God's love before entering into a relationship with another person. Loving God and knowing of His love will help us to love others.

On the other hand... On Wednesday I brought this up with my spiritual director and he brought up the importance of being in relationships with others, of experiencing the love, but also the pain, that can come from them. And through relationships we can experience God's love. I don't know... maybe we have to experience that pain so we can learn from it and love the next person with greater love. Being completely consumed and engrossed by God's love is tough! Well, it's difficult for us to actually realize the immensity of His love! But maybe there needs to be a middle ground. Obviously God is going to place people in our lives for reasons, whether they are friends or significant others. We simply have to listen to His voice, but also our hearts, for God is the creator of our hearts and the author of our stories.

Quote of the Day

"It is Jesus that you seek when you dream of happiness; He is waiting for you when nothing else you find satisfied you; He is the beauty to which you are so attracted; it is He who provoked you with that thirst for fullness that will not let you settle for compromise; it is He who urges you to shed the masks of a false life; it is He who reads in your hearts your most genuine choices, the choices that others try to stifle.

It is Jesus who stirs in you the desire to do something great with your lives, the will to follow an ideal, the refusal to allow yourselves to be ground down by mediocrity, the courage to commit yourselves humbly and patiently to improving yourselves and society, making the world more human and more fraternal."

-Pope John Paul II, World Youth Day, Rome 2000

Theology of the Body (TOB)

I have not read the Theology of the Body by John Paul II or TOB explained by Christopher West. I have, however, seen the talks West gave about the Theology of the Body and just started reading TOB for Teens by Jason & Crystalina Evert and Brian Butler. I am a huge fan of Jason Evert's so I decided to buy the book, which is actually a workbook that came in the mail to me late last week.

Anyway, one of my favorite things about Theology of the Body is that it strives to answer and help others answer the questions of "Who am I? What is my purpose in life? What is love all about?" Every single person has a desire to know the answers to those questions. The question of "Who am I?" is probably one of the toughest questions to answer because it means we have to look at ourselves: our faults, our gifts, our charisms, where we came from, what inspires us, how we fail, what brings us joy, what angers us. It is only until we know ourselves that we can come to know others and come to know God more as well.