Beauty

Yikes...it's been awhile. I've been meaning to write for awhile but things have been a little busy, so here we go, a month later.

Recently I've picked up Captivating, a book I read several years ago. I would highly suggest checking out the link because you can read a good portion of the book on-line. The subtitle to the book is "Unveiling the mystery of a woman's soul." Intriguing, isn't it? It is written by the author of Wild at Heart, John Eldredge, and his wife Stasi. Together these books explore what is at the heart of being a man and a woman. The basis of the books comes from the three desires of our hearts. The desires of a man's heart are a battle to fight, an adventure to go on, and a beauty to rescue. Captivating talks about these a bit, but focuses on the heart of a woman.

We think you'll find that every woman in her heart of hearts longs for three things: to be romanced, to play an irreplaceable role in a great adventure, and to unveil beauty. That's what makes a woman come alive.

The second chapter explores the relationship of God and these desires and it also goes more in depth by getting at the heart of "beauty." A few quotes I found myself underlining are:

Beauty is the essence of God.

Nature is not primarily functional. It is primarily beautiful.

Beauty is the essence of a woman...both a physical beauty and a
soulful/spiritual beauty.

...she expresses beauty simply in who she is. Like God, it is her
essence.

There are several attributes of beauty that are also discussed and I will simply state them here:

Beauty invites.

Beauty nourishes.

Beauty comforts.

Beauty inspires.

Beauty is transcendent.

Beauty is, without question, the most essential and the most misunderstood of all of God's qualities - of all feminine qualities too (p 40).

Reading this chapter has make me take at look at my own beauty and also the beauty of other women. It is quite amazing to be able to acknowledge that all women have a beauty to unveil, no matter who they are. Our 73-year-old bookkeeper has beauty, the 11-year-old girl at Mass at beauty, the woman speeding past me on the highway and the woman walking across the TCU campus all have a beauty to unveil.

One of the reasons why John and Stasi say that it is the most misunderstood of feminine qualities is because it causes so much pain. Women will put themselves through a lot to look and feel beautiful and some never realize that beauty is not simply their outward appearance but what they hold in their heart and the whispers of their soul. In over a month I will be giving a small 15-minute talk at our Mother/Daughter Tea on how God made us wonderful. The girls will be in grades 5th-7th and will be facing many of the issues society pushes upon them at young ages and they want to know the answer to the question "am I lovely?" I hope to get across to these girls, and their mothers, the importance of beauty, but what it truly means. We are beautiful no matter what, and simply by being a woman we radiate the beauty of God. If guys can't see that, they're idiots - sorry for such blunt language.

Yesterday I was talking with a guy friend about my struggles with guys down here. We were talking about flirting but then he brought up a good point... it is important to get to know the other person and have them get to know me - beyond the playful banter and small talk. He said that people see the happy, energetic side of me well before they see the down-to-earth, serious side. It's something I can definitely work on, letting the true me come out while also getting to know more about another, what their passions are, what bothers them, what brings them joy. Then he told me that "any guy who doesn't see [my great qualities] once he gets to know you is probably an idiot anyway so it's not worth worrying about." This all relates back to inner beauty and letting that shine through. Thanks, T. :)

From Eden to Disney

Maybe someone has already made this connection, maybe not... but today this revelation came to me... I wonder if there is any connection to the fruit of the Tree of Knowledge of Good and Evil and an apple that can cause death in fairy tales. Many people connect that forbidden fruit to apples. God gave Adam and Eve instructions to not eat the fruit of the tree "in the middle of the garden...lest you die" (Gen 3:3). And now fairy tales portray this fruit as "evil" and the wicked stepmothers try to allure the beautiful princess with a delicious apple, because what is harmful about an apple!? But surprise! It was poisonous. What you think won't kill you does, which is exactly what sin does... it allures us with its tempting pleasures and seductive outcomes, but in reality, our relationship with God is severed at each bite.

Be Satisfied with Me

Everyone longs to give themselves completely to someone,
To have a deep soul relationship with another,
To be loved thoroughly and exclusively.
But God, to a Christian, says,
"No, not until you are satisfied, fulfilled and content
With being loved by Me alone,With giving yourself totally and reservedly to Me,
With having an intensely personal and unique relationship
With Me alone.
Discovering that only in Me is your satisfaction to be found,
Will you be capable of the perfect human relationshipThat I have planned for you.
You will never be united with another until you are united
With Me alone,Exclusive of anyone or anything else,
Exclusive of any other desires or longings.

I want you to stop planning,
Stop wishing,
And allow Me to give you the most thrilling plan existing,
One that you cannot imagine.
Please allow Me to bring it to you.
You just keep watching Me, expecting the greatest things.
Keep experiencing the satisfaction that I Am.
Keep listening and learning the things I tell you.
You just wait.
That's all.
Don't be anxious.
Don't worry.
Don't look at the things you think you want;
You just keep looking off and away up to Me,
Or you'll miss what I want to show you.
And then when you are ready,I'll surprise you with a love far more wonderful than any
You could dream of.
You see, until you are ready and until
The one I have for you is ready
(I am working even at this moment to have you both ready at the same time),
Until you are both satisfied exclusively with Me
And the life I prepared for you,
You won't be able to experience the love that
Exemplified your relationship with Me.
And this is the perfect love.

And dear one, I want you to have this most wonderful love,
I want you to see in the flesh a picture of your
Relationship with Me,
And to enjoy materially and concretely
The everlasting union of beauty, perfection and love
That I offer you with Myself.
Know that I love utterly.
I Am God.
Believe it and be satisfied.

~ St. Anthony of Padua

Not Just for Lovers ;)

Earlier this morning I was doing some reading/skimming of a youth ministry books and my thoughts wandered off to Theology of the Body and friendship. Theology of the Body isn't just about dating and marriage, it should affect the core of all relationships. It asks us how we can uphold the dignity of our friends, no matter who they are.

My spiritual director and I once talked about how we can learn to love others by loving God first, but we can also learn how to love God by loving others. Make sense? It is amazing at how we are called to be in relationship with God and with others... relationships are an essential part of our lives! Learning to love our friends for who they are can help prepare us for that big "I do," granted that we are called to that (or aren't already married).

The stages of friendship are so unique... and coming down to Fort Worth I've been able to experience them all anew. It can be difficult to remain patient in friendships and not expect them to blossom overnight, which is something I have learned. When that comfortability does come in a friendship it is a joyous feeling, even simply making yourself at home at someone else's place. I always hope that wherever my home is can be a "home" to others as well, that they would feel comfortable to let themselves in (that is, if I know they're coming!), use the kitchen, and simply kick back and relax. Friends are great blessings and they keep the flow of life running through our bodies, energizing us with joy and laughter and helping us to embrace suffering and pain.

Love is what makes life exciting; life is what makes love exciting.

Some more ramblings

I love my guy friends and I love sharing with them my "guy stories." It's funny to see what advice they give (or don't give) and I don't think guys can even understand other guys! Their responses often include advice to make a move... easy enough for them to say! First of all, I think I'm too nervous that the guy wouldn't feel the same way and then you never know if things could get awkward after that (but that probably depends on who the guy is). Secondly, as I've mentioned before, I don't want to be the pursuer! On the other hand, one friend said it's nice for the guy to know that there can be a "hunt." The word hunt sounds crazy and I don't want to make women out to look like prey, but it has some truth. I'm sure there is a better word for it, but right now it's too late and I probably haven't been thinking clearly for several days! Gotta love that whole vacation thing!

One guy told me that I should just say "hey, I like you, you like me?" and I immediately shot that piece of 'advice' down. Yeah, if only it were that easy.

One last random ramble: I have no idea if anyone reads this blog, but it is posted on my profile on facebook... so at times I wonder if I reveal too much of myself in here!?! Oh well, it's who I am, part of my life, and I don't want to hide away from the world.

The movies make it so easy to "fall" in love and "be" in love... I just watched 'The Holiday' tonight and it was really cute. It actually made me tear up a bit and it put me in a good mood. But seriously... these people fall in love in two weeks! Actually, the characters Iris and Miley don't say they love each other, but have a connection in a week (or less). Nonetheless, it is a cute movie, but I think it can give us wrong expectations!

Last fall, a whole year ago, one of my roommates and I watched several "chick flicks" in a few days. I love those movies but they had me almost pining to be in a relationship! I wanted that "love" that was portrayed in the movies... who doesn't!?!

Ok, lost my train of thought...I don't know what else to say, other than: patience is a virtue!

Inherent differences

Women desire to feel protected by men and men have a desire to feel strong.

All I'm going to say for now.