Waiting for Pursuit

How I Know it's Love

2012-01-24T14:01:00.004-06:00

How I know it's love: Receiving an unexpected text from the bf saying:

Lisa, you are such an amazing, beautiful, and holy woman. I am completely stoked I have the opportunity to date you. That is all.

Reading those words after I got back from lunch rendered me completely speechless as waves of emotion swallowed up my heart. I love him. :) And I had to share that somewhere...thought this would be a good outlet for it.

In the future...

2012-01-05T12:26:00.002-06:00

In the future when I have kids, I want them to be able to look at my husband and me and say "Wow, my parents are so in love!"

Prince Charming

2011-10-26T15:34:00.000-05:00

Earlier today I read a friend's blog post that I enjoyed for several reasons. It's titled "One day my Prince will come..." and I immediately connected because I used to write that in some of my journal entries. She started off writing about how perfect Prince Charming is and how every little girl might expect him to come...yet he isn't realistic. After reading that I wasn't sure where she was taking the post (I believe that I have finally "found" my Prince Charming, so of course I think it's possible). She then turned it in a different direction and reflected on how she doesn't have to wait for her Prince Charming because he has been here all along in the person of Jesus. We are already princesses and are loved with a deep and great love. She then swings it back to talking about a "future spouse" and I loved these next few lines:

I do believe that if God is calling me to marriage, He has also created a man who will be perfect for me. He will compliment me in all the ways I need to be complimented and he will make me a more holy and faithful woman of God. In his unique way he will be my Prince and sometimes he will save the day but he will never be my Savior.

As I said earlier, I believe I have finally found my Prince Charming. I once thought it was someone else, but turns out I was wrong, and boy am I glad I was wrong. Sometimes people say "you just know," and that is true. It's only been two months but we're already discussing and discerning the vocation of marriage. I learn more and more how we do compliment each other and he (and his dad) make me want to be a better and more holy woman.

I thank God every day for this man, and it turns out that waiting for pursuit really is worth the wait. :-)

Blessings

2011-09-13T15:26:00.000-05:00

"I'm in love, I'm in love, and I don't care who knows it!"

Those words from Buddy in Elf stick out to me today.

I met a guy who makes me smile almost 24/7. A guy who greatly respects me and cares deeply about me. It's an amazing feeling! It seems too good to be true that God placed us in each other's lives, but I guess God does like to bless us on occasion. :)

Back to Waiting...

2011-05-04T17:07:00.000-05:00

One year and four months later we have decided to "take a break." We talked about the possibility of breaking up last month, but it didn't happen, we "weren't ready." When is anyone ready to end a longterm relationship? We haven't told too many people yet; it's difficult to tell people without tears quickly forming.

He's had a lot of doubts over the past year. I had many doubts and frustrations as well, but still thought he might have been "the one." But maybe I was settling (ugh, I don't like that word!). We came to a place where we were "stuck." We liked dating and being with each other, but our love wasn't growing, it was quite stagnant. It took several hours to talk about what we were going to do, getting off subject, and approaching it again. I knew something had to be done; we either had to work harder at our relationship or end it, because I didn't like that feeling of being in relationship limbo.

That was Monday night. Tuesday we hid our relationship status on Facebook, but not declaring ourselves single just yet. Tuesday night we were hanging out, watching some 24 (we got hooked onto it), and he proposed that we just take a break, that we treat each other as friends do and see how things go. I asked "how do friends treat each other?" and he said "Nice." He explained that he's been treating his friends better than how he treats me, which I could agree with. We still have fun together, so we'll still hang out, but I suppose it won't be as much as we used to see each other. I think we're trying to make this as easy as it can be for us.

I don't care what you call it, "taking a break" or "breaking up" will always suck. It's a really sad time and trying to avoid pain can seem easy, but no matter what, you always need time for healing and facing the brokenness.

The Chronicles of my new Adventures

2010-03-08T23:16:00.001-06:00

It seems like it has been forever since I have written on this blog. I suppose 4 (+) months is a long time and a lot can happen! A lot has happened. In December I was finally accepting my singleness; I was ok with the fact I wasn't being pursued by anyone and I certainly wasn't going to be pursuing either. I was also thinking more about moving back up north after my program is finished (this summer). Everything changed after one weekend.

On December 18th I organized our parish's Christmas caroling to the homebound. Some of the choir members from one of our masses graciously volunteered their Friday night to join us. We had two routes and long story short, all of the young adults (three choir members, two others, and myself) were on one route with a few other people. After the caroling I was telling the young adult crew about our Ugly Christmas Sweater party the next night and asked everyone if they were going. Jeremy and Robert both said they'd be there.

The party was crazy, as the Christmas party usually is: lots of people, a silly white elephant gift exchange game, and many beverages. It kind of seemed like this Jeremy guy was into me - he'd come around me once in awhile and he'd get into pictures next to me and even asked if I'd take one of the two of us. Before he left for the night he asked if he could take me to lunch sometime. I agreed, not really sure exactly what that meant, but it was exciting nonetheless. When we both got home from the party we were on facebook and ended up chatting until 4 a.m. I told Jeremy I was leaving the next day to go home to Wisconsin for Christmas, so he asked if I'd like to do lunch on Sunday after Mass. Again, I agreed.

On Sunday I was pretty nervous. We seemed to hit it off while we were chatting (granted, it was chatting over the internet, late at night), and I assumed it was a date. Jeremy drove to the restaurant and he was such a gentleman about everything, he wouldn't let me touch the passenger door to his truck! He opened it for me, whether I was getting in or getting out. We ate a delicious pizza and answered questions about ourselves. I enjoyed my time and I looked forward to telling one of my roommates all about it.

While I was at home in Wisconsin we began talking on the phone. We shared some pretty late conversations and on Christmas day/night we talked for 7 or 9 hours. Maybe it wasn't 9 hours, but I don't quite remember. It was long and it was wonderful. We really got to know each other over the phone. There was an ease about sharing our lives with each other. Maybe it was too easy and happened too quickly. Maybe it was all meant to be. When I came back to Texas on December 30th Jeremy surprised me at work with some of my favorite candies. I was shaking when he was in my office, I was nervous again! It was easy when it was over the phone, but seeing him in person brought me back to reality. That night he cooked me a delicious dinner at his apartment, we watched a movie, and we hung out. Late, late that night we decided to make things official. We talked about it on the phone, so why not!? We both really liked each other.

A little over two months later, we still do. This relationship thing has been really new to me. The first few times Jeremy would say the word "relationship" I would get this weird feeling: Wow, this is real, I'm actually in a relationship. As stated in my previous post, I hadn't been in a relationship for over 4 years before I met Jeremy, so I had to learn, through the current experience, what being in a relationship means. I had read (most of) Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus, but that isn't real life. I'm still learning what it means to be in a relationship. Being a couple, sharing a part of our lives with each other, caring deeply for the other... experiencing the bad moods, whether it's mine or his, we kind of experience it together... the ups and downs, the disagreements and middle ground... thinking about the future... All these things go on while we also have to keep our own identities and not forget who we are as individuals.

Life was so different before Jeremy and now many things have changed, but I suppose that is to be expected. I am not implying these changes are negative, simply different. I think one experiences a lot more emotional when they're with someone... First of all, I have a companion to share my life with, the things that suck and the things that bring me joy, so the emotions that go with all of those things are probably built up a little bit since I can share them. I also experience my own joy and love simply being with Jeremy and knowing I am loved in return. And of course, like any relationship, I can get frustrated with him - yet more emotions! Those days that aren't the best only make the good days even better.

I know I have written a lot... but I felt I should share the update, and not simply the boring straight facts. This is life and life is messy, but it also has its many blessings, and my relationship with Jeremy is one of those.

God's Plan???

2009-11-16T17:40:00.000-06:00

I just don't get it. I have been struggling with being single for over a year now... and look, still single! I'm sure God is using it for a greater good, I just can't see what it is right now. I tried the on-line dating thing, went on a few dates, but they didn't work out. I think I'm done with that for now. I may have had an ulterior motive of just wanting to break the streak of 4+ years of not having gone on a date. Not any real or "official" dates, that is. I've had my share of hanging out with guys, of interests and possibilities, but nothing was labeled as a date. When will my prince come, because I think I've been waiting long enough.

God Made us Wonderful

2009-04-27T12:28:00.005-05:00

This past Saturday I gave a talk at a Mother and Daughter tea put on at our church. The talk was titled God Made us Wonderful and the audience were girls in grades 5-7th and their moms. I'm putting the talk on here, though it isn't complete, since I added stuff during it; these are mostly just my notes. At the end I really emphasized that they really are beautiful. So here it is:

Read Psalm 139: 13-17

You formed my inmost being; you knit me in my mother's womb.
I praise you, so wonderfully you made me; wonderful are
your works! My very self you knew; my bones were not hidden from you, When I was being made in secret, fashioned as in the depths of the earth. Your eyes foresaw
my actions; in your book all are written down; my days were shaped, before one
came to be. How precious to me are your designs, O God; how vast the sum of
them!

God made us wonderful! He created you to be just the way you are and He delights in you.

Imagine art class and having others compliment your piece of work, your creation. It feels great, you delight in those compliments, you are proud of your accomplishment.

Now imagine creating a piece of art that you find very beautiful, but others start to pick out things they don’t like: the colors are all wrong, it is too wide, it’s too tall, it isn’t symmetrical.

These criticisms don’t sound nice and they can hurt us, make us sad and maybe a little angry and upset. This is how God feels when we criticize His works of art, His creation – whether it is other girls and women around us or ourselves.

Let’s go back to the beginning…

“God created man in His own, in the divine image He created them, male and female He created them” – Genesis 1:27.

God created all of us in His image and likeness.

Think of nature…of delicate flowers, magnificent trees, and breathtaking sunsets. These things are beautiful, but they weren’t created in God’s image. It is like he was showing off; He made these things for fun! They’re samples of what is to come, of a
creation more breathtaking and beautiful.

His ultimate masterpiece is us. We, as humans, as women, were created in His image and likeness, so how much more beautiful we are than nature!

When God created Eve, she was the crown of creation, the finishing touch that brought perfection to the world. The world wasn’t right without her, there was something missing… Nothing else can fill her place.

Just like Eve, God has given us certain qualities that are unique to females. The feminine heart was created to be nurturing, tender, inviting, comforting, merciful, and beautiful.

Just how beauty is the essence of God, beauty is the essence of woman, both physical and spiritual.

The world seems to have an obsession with beauty. We are told that to be successful and popular we have to be beautiful, and to be beautiful means to buy all the right make-up, fashionable clothes, and have perfect hair. The pressures to be beautiful, as defined by the world, surround us every day.
-Show examples of ads for make-up, hair products, and perfume called “Beautiful” and “Pretty.”

What we see in ads isn’t real beauty – it’s computer generated and fixed by photoshop – created by humans. That perfection of beauty cannot be achieved by us!

We already have beauty bestowed upon us, God’s beauty, which is real and not fake.

It is not wrong for women to wear make-up and fashionable clothes, but it is unhealthy when it becomes and obsession and we look to outward appearances to be beautiful, to define who we are. The world asks us to hide who we truly are, but we need to let our real selves shine through! We really are more than meets the eye!

We each have gifts and talents that God has blessed us with, such as playing sports, an instrument, finding enjoyment in reading or being good at math. We all have things we like to do – nurture those, don’t hide them! It’s who we are and who we were created to be! Our beauty and our feminine heart can shine through these, no matter what they are.

Our beauty also shines through how we love others and ourselves. If God created all of us in His image and likeness and with a heart like His, then we need to start recognizing His beauty in others and love them.

We need to stop competing with others – the world isn’t a beauty pageant! In God’s Kingdom you are all Miss Universe. (It is not about who is prettier because we are all beautiful. We have to accept the unique traits we were given, such as curly or straight hair…)

When you wake up in the morning and look in the mirror,
remember that you were created from the beauty of God.

When you see another girl and you wish you could have her hair, her eyes, or her clothes,
remember that God created us all with beauty and with features unique to everyone.

On those days when you simply don’t feel beautiful…
remember that you are and that God would not have created you any other way
other than beautiful.

No one can take away your beauty, your dignity, or your feminine heart.

Be proud to be a girl because it sure is a lot of fun!

Thank you.

Simple Quote on Beauty

2009-03-15T12:05:00.001-05:00

"The more beautiful a sunrise is, the more difficult it is to describe it."

-Paul Sabatier

Beauty

2009-03-10T13:52:00.004-05:00

Yikes...it's been awhile. I've been meaning to write for awhile but things have been a little busy, so here we go, a month later.

Recently I've picked up Captivating, a book I read several years ago. I would highly suggest checking out the link because you can read a good portion of the book on-line. The subtitle to the book is "Unveiling the mystery of a woman's soul." Intriguing, isn't it? It is written by the author of Wild at Heart, John Eldredge, and his wife Stasi. Together these books explore what is at the heart of being a man and a woman. The basis of the books comes from the three desires of our hearts. The desires of a man's heart are a battle to fight, an adventure to go on, and a beauty to rescue. Captivating talks about these a bit, but focuses on the heart of a woman.

We think you'll find that every woman in her heart of hearts longs for three things: to be romanced, to play an irreplaceable role in a great adventure, and to unveil beauty. That's what makes a woman come alive.

The second chapter explores the relationship of God and these desires and it also goes more in depth by getting at the heart of "beauty." A few quotes I found myself underlining are:

Beauty is the essence of God.

Nature is not primarily functional. It is primarily beautiful.

Beauty is the essence of a woman...both a physical beauty and a
soulful/spiritual beauty.

...she expresses beauty simply in who she is. Like God, it is her
essence.

There are several attributes of beauty that are also discussed and I will simply state them here:

Beauty invites.

Beauty nourishes.

Beauty comforts.

Beauty inspires.

Beauty is transcendent.

Beauty is, without question, the most essential and the most misunderstood of all of God's qualities - of all feminine qualities too (p 40).

Reading this chapter has make me take at look at my own beauty and also the beauty of other women. It is quite amazing to be able to acknowledge that all women have a beauty to unveil, no matter who they are. Our 73-year-old bookkeeper has beauty, the 11-year-old girl at Mass at beauty, the woman speeding past me on the highway and the woman walking across the TCU campus all have a beauty to unveil.

One of the reasons why John and Stasi say that it is the most misunderstood of feminine qualities is because it causes so much pain. Women will put themselves through a lot to look and feel beautiful and some never realize that beauty is not simply their outward appearance but what they hold in their heart and the whispers of their soul. In over a month I will be giving a small 15-minute talk at our Mother/Daughter Tea on how God made us wonderful. The girls will be in grades 5th-7th and will be facing many of the issues society pushes upon them at young ages and they want to know the answer to the question "am I lovely?" I hope to get across to these girls, and their mothers, the importance of beauty, but what it truly means. We are beautiful no matter what, and simply by being a woman we radiate the beauty of God. If guys can't see that, they're idiots - sorry for such blunt language.

Yesterday I was talking with a guy friend about my struggles with guys down here. We were talking about flirting but then he brought up a good point... it is important to get to know the other person and have them get to know me - beyond the playful banter and small talk. He said that people see the happy, energetic side of me well before they see the down-to-earth, serious side. It's something I can definitely work on, letting the true me come out while also getting to know more about another, what their passions are, what bothers them, what brings them joy. Then he told me that "any guy who doesn't see [my great qualities] once he gets to know you is probably an idiot anyway so it's not worth worrying about." This all relates back to inner beauty and letting that shine through. Thanks, T. :)

From Eden to Disney

2009-02-11T14:57:00.002-06:00

Maybe someone has already made this connection, maybe not... but today this revelation came to me... I wonder if there is any connection to the fruit of the Tree of Knowledge of Good and Evil and an apple that can cause death in fairy tales. Many people connect that forbidden fruit to apples. God gave Adam and Eve instructions to not eat the fruit of the tree "in the middle of the garden...lest you die" (Gen 3:3). And now fairy tales portray this fruit as "evil" and the wicked stepmothers try to allure the beautiful princess with a delicious apple, because what is harmful about an apple!? But surprise! It was poisonous. What you think won't kill you does, which is exactly what sin does... it allures us with its tempting pleasures and seductive outcomes, but in reality, our relationship with God is severed at each bite.

Be Satisfied with Me

2009-01-29T10:35:00.002-06:00

Everyone longs to give themselves completely to someone,
To have a deep soul relationship with another,
To be loved thoroughly and exclusively.
But God, to a Christian, says,
"No, not until you are satisfied, fulfilled and content
With being loved by Me alone,With giving yourself totally and reservedly to Me,
With having an intensely personal and unique relationship
With Me alone.
Discovering that only in Me is your satisfaction to be found,
Will you be capable of the perfect human relationshipThat I have planned for you.
You will never be united with another until you are united
With Me alone,Exclusive of anyone or anything else,
Exclusive of any other desires or longings.

I want you to stop planning,
Stop wishing,
And allow Me to give you the most thrilling plan existing,
One that you cannot imagine.
Please allow Me to bring it to you.
You just keep watching Me, expecting the greatest things.
Keep experiencing the satisfaction that I Am.
Keep listening and learning the things I tell you.
You just wait.
That's all.
Don't be anxious.
Don't worry.
Don't look at the things you think you want;
You just keep looking off and away up to Me,
Or you'll miss what I want to show you.
And then when you are ready,I'll surprise you with a love far more wonderful than any
You could dream of.
You see, until you are ready and until
The one I have for you is ready
(I am working even at this moment to have you both ready at the same time),
Until you are both satisfied exclusively with Me
And the life I prepared for you,
You won't be able to experience the love that
Exemplified your relationship with Me.
And this is the perfect love.

And dear one, I want you to have this most wonderful love,
I want you to see in the flesh a picture of your
Relationship with Me,
And to enjoy materially and concretely
The everlasting union of beauty, perfection and love
That I offer you with Myself.
Know that I love utterly.
I Am God.
Believe it and be satisfied.

~ St. Anthony of Padua

Not Just for Lovers ;)

2009-01-20T14:34:00.002-06:00

Earlier this morning I was doing some reading/skimming of a youth ministry books and my thoughts wandered off to Theology of the Body and friendship. Theology of the Body isn't just about dating and marriage, it should affect the core of all relationships. It asks us how we can uphold the dignity of our friends, no matter who they are.

My spiritual director and I once talked about how we can learn to love others by loving God first, but we can also learn how to love God by loving others. Make sense? It is amazing at how we are called to be in relationship with God and with others... relationships are an essential part of our lives! Learning to love our friends for who they are can help prepare us for that big "I do," granted that we are called to that (or aren't already married).

The stages of friendship are so unique... and coming down to Fort Worth I've been able to experience them all anew. It can be difficult to remain patient in friendships and not expect them to blossom overnight, which is something I have learned. When that comfortability does come in a friendship it is a joyous feeling, even simply making yourself at home at someone else's place. I always hope that wherever my home is can be a "home" to others as well, that they would feel comfortable to let themselves in (that is, if I know they're coming!), use the kitchen, and simply kick back and relax. Friends are great blessings and they keep the flow of life running through our bodies, energizing us with joy and laughter and helping us to embrace suffering and pain.

Love is what makes life exciting; life is what makes love exciting.

Some more ramblings

2009-01-05T00:35:00.005-06:00

I love my guy friends and I love sharing with them my "guy stories." It's funny to see what advice they give (or don't give) and I don't think guys can even understand other guys! Their responses often include advice to make a move... easy enough for them to say! First of all, I think I'm too nervous that the guy wouldn't feel the same way and then you never know if things could get awkward after that (but that probably depends on who the guy is). Secondly, as I've mentioned before, I don't want to be the pursuer! On the other hand, one friend said it's nice for the guy to know that there can be a "hunt." The word hunt sounds crazy and I don't want to make women out to look like prey, but it has some truth. I'm sure there is a better word for it, but right now it's too late and I probably haven't been thinking clearly for several days! Gotta love that whole vacation thing!

One guy told me that I should just say "hey, I like you, you like me?" and I immediately shot that piece of 'advice' down. Yeah, if only it were that easy.

One last random ramble: I have no idea if anyone reads this blog, but it is posted on my profile on facebook... so at times I wonder if I reveal too much of myself in here!?! Oh well, it's who I am, part of my life, and I don't want to hide away from the world.

2008-12-23T00:37:00.002-06:00

The movies make it so easy to "fall" in love and "be" in love... I just watched 'The Holiday' tonight and it was really cute. It actually made me tear up a bit and it put me in a good mood. But seriously... these people fall in love in two weeks! Actually, the characters Iris and Miley don't say they love each other, but have a connection in a week (or less). Nonetheless, it is a cute movie, but I think it can give us wrong expectations!

Last fall, a whole year ago, one of my roommates and I watched several "chick flicks" in a few days. I love those movies but they had me almost pining to be in a relationship! I wanted that "love" that was portrayed in the movies... who doesn't!?!

Ok, lost my train of thought...I don't know what else to say, other than: patience is a virtue!

Inherent differences

2008-12-09T12:23:00.001-06:00

Women desire to feel protected by men and men have a desire to feel strong.

All I'm going to say for now.

Dialogue

2008-12-04T17:47:00.003-06:00

This is from "Theology of the Body for Teens" written by the Everts and Brian Butler. It is a skewed dialogue on how teens might view the teaching of chastity:

Student: Is it OK for my girlfriend and me to...
Teacher: NO.
Student: Well, what if we just...
Teacher: NO.
Student: but what if we really...
Teacher: NO. NO. NO. Just don't. Be good boys and girls. Hold hands and go to a pumpkin patch together, then play board games with her family, and be home by 7:00 p.m. Otherwise you'll get her pregnant, die of an STD, and go to hell. Class dismissed. Have a fun weekend!

Guard My Heart

2008-12-04T17:10:00.002-06:00

We should all be asking others to guard our hearts, even if we don't use those exact words. In books I've read and chastity talks I've gone to I have been told that men should guard the hearts of women. I believe, as a woman, I'm asked to do the same thing. In the past summers I've worked with another woman who is extremely interested in the philosophy of what it means to be a man or a woman and we've had several conversations. We've asked ourselves, and others, what it means when we say we need to guard each other's hearts.

For starters we need to watch what we say and how we act. It is not fair to lead others on when we may not be interested in furthering our friendship and perhaps entering a relationship with them. We need to be modest in all we do; the way we present ourselves in actions and appearance. An argument has been issued that modesty isn't "fair" because why shouldn't a woman be able to dress how she wants to; if a guy lusts after her and has inappropriate thoughts due to the lack of clothing on her body then it must be his fault! That is not a fair argument and it doesn't even make sense. If we love others as we are called to do, then we should will the good of them. This means not drawing attention to one's body, whether female or male, for the sake of another person being tempted to sin. There is a plethora of other ideas that would also argue for modesty, but for the same of time I will not be going into those today.

So, guarding another's heart. There can be many fine lines within this! What's the difference between flirting and personality traits of a person!?! An example would be someone who naturally touches other peoples' arms when talking to them verses a person who is purposefully touching another's arms for the sake of flirting. Confusing, oh, I know!

There can be so many mixed signals between two people and sometimes they are very misleading. To guard another's heart we need our intentions to be clear. We need to know our own intentions with the words and actions we proceed with, but we should try to make them clear to the other person. I.E. don't flirt for the sake of flirting! And maybe if you are a "natural toucher," refrain a bit when talking with a person of the opposite sex so they don't get the wrong impression.

I feel as if I've been babbling on just now! This all flows from my own experiences from recent times. It can be difficult to be a single woman, out of college, who hopes to one day be married and raise a family. Crushes can develop easily, especially from misread signals. Women tend to read into things way too much, often not for our benefit. "He did this, so was he flirting with me?" I suppose only time will tell, and until then I'll trust in God's plan and still be waiting for pursuit.

Relevant to the last post...

2008-11-12T16:55:00.002-06:00

Here is an article on BustedHalo.com that talks about Sex, Dating, and Catholicism.

I was bothered by something in this article though... The author, Dr. Christine B. Whelan, says that people are confused on the Church's teaching on chastity and sex; people think that the Church is more for living a "chaste" (or rather, a life of celibacy) and might be "anti-marriage." Whelan says "Chastity, however, is something that is valued by the Church as the way we guard our sexuality before marriage." No, sorry, you're wrong. I think she is a bit confused... The Catechism of the Catholic Church defines chastity as "the successful integration of sexuality within the person and thus the inner unity of man and his bodily and spiritual being" (CCC 2337). It doesn't say anything about how this limits chastity. A person is to live a chaste life no matter what vocation they are being called to. Yes, chastity can certainly be celibacy, that is, if you are not married. But a married couple should also be seeking to live out the virtue of chastity. It means not using the other for one's pleasure and giving completely of yourself. Chastity means so much, yet people know so little!

Our Unhooked Culture

2008-11-07T23:04:00.002-06:00

Last year I came across the book Unhooked: How Young Women Pursue Sex, Delay Love and Lose at Both. The author, Laura Sessions Stepp, interviewed girls in high school and college about their experiences in the "hookup culture" and how this has affected them. I think I read most of the book last year, but I recently bought it to re-read. Tonight I finished Section One: "Hooking up: What it Means."

Stepp explores what "hooking up" means, which, she discovered, cannot be specifically defined. It could be anything from kissing to sex. When she interviewed students at Duke they came up with answers such as "don't have to work for it, immediate gratification, no relationship, lack of communication, no emotional fulfillment, and doesn't teach intimacy" (Stepp, 21). People find glamor in these random hook ups because they see them as fun, effortless, and they find a false value in doing so.

It is the complete opposite of what we were created for. God created us to feel love, and yes, to feel pain. Sexual intimacy is for the union of two people, a man and a woman. It is to be self-giving, not selfishly taking from the other person. And love isn't just a feeling, it is what we have to be, what we are called to do. How can you love another person by using them for your self benefit? Love is tough, sacrifice is difficult, but we are called to discipline.

Something to Think About

2008-11-07T00:05:00.004-06:00

An Anonymous Prayer:

Wait until you are satisfied, fulfilled, and content with being loved by Me alone, with giving yourself totally, unreservedly to Me alone.

I love you, my child. But until you discover that only in Me is your satisfaction to be found, you will not be capable of the perfect human relationship that I have planned for you. You will never be united with another as you desire to be until you are united with Me, exclusive of anyone or anything else, exclusive of any other desires and belongings.

I want you to stop planning and stop wishing, and allow Me to give you the most thrilling plan that exists - one that you can't imagine. I want you to have the very best. Please allow Me to bring it to you.

Just keep your eyes on Me, expecting the greatest things.
Keep experiencing that satisfaction knowing that I AM.
Keep learning and listening to the things I tell you.
You must be patient.

Don't be anxious.
Don't worry.
Don't look around at the things others have.
Don't look at the things you think you want.
Just keep looking at Me, or you will miss what I want to give you.

And then, when you are ready, I will surprise you with a love far more wonderful than you could ever dream. You see, until you are ready, and until the one I have for you is ready ... until you are both satisfied exclusively with Me and the life I have prepared for you, you won't be able to experience the love that exemplifies your relationship with Me ... and this is perfect love.

This certainly makes sense to me, being satisfied with God's love before entering into a relationship with another person. Loving God and knowing of His love will help us to love others.

On the other hand... On Wednesday I brought this up with my spiritual director and he brought up the importance of being in relationships with others, of experiencing the love, but also the pain, that can come from them. And through relationships we can experience God's love. I don't know... maybe we have to experience that pain so we can learn from it and love the next person with greater love. Being completely consumed and engrossed by God's love is tough! Well, it's difficult for us to actually realize the immensity of His love! But maybe there needs to be a middle ground. Obviously God is going to place people in our lives for reasons, whether they are friends or significant others. We simply have to listen to His voice, but also our hearts, for God is the creator of our hearts and the author of our stories.

Quote of the Day

2008-11-05T12:24:00.001-06:00

"It is Jesus that you seek when you dream of happiness; He is waiting for you when nothing else you find satisfied you; He is the beauty to which you are so attracted; it is He who provoked you with that thirst for fullness that will not let you settle for compromise; it is He who urges you to shed the masks of a false life; it is He who reads in your hearts your most genuine choices, the choices that others try to stifle.

It is Jesus who stirs in you the desire to do something great with your lives, the will to follow an ideal, the refusal to allow yourselves to be ground down by mediocrity, the courage to commit yourselves humbly and patiently to improving yourselves and society, making the world more human and more fraternal."

-Pope John Paul II, World Youth Day, Rome 2000

Theology of the Body (TOB)

2008-11-03T18:59:00.003-06:00

I have not read the Theology of the Body by John Paul II or TOB explained by Christopher West. I have, however, seen the talks West gave about the Theology of the Body and just started reading TOB for Teens by Jason & Crystalina Evert and Brian Butler. I am a huge fan of Jason Evert's so I decided to buy the book, which is actually a workbook that came in the mail to me late last week.

Anyway, one of my favorite things about Theology of the Body is that it strives to answer and help others answer the questions of "Who am I? What is my purpose in life? What is love all about?" Every single person has a desire to know the answers to those questions. The question of "Who am I?" is probably one of the toughest questions to answer because it means we have to look at ourselves: our faults, our gifts, our charisms, where we came from, what inspires us, how we fail, what brings us joy, what angers us. It is only until we know ourselves that we can come to know others and come to know God more as well.

Modestly Yours

2008-10-30T23:57:00.004-05:00

A woman who I admire is Wendy Shalit, author and culture revolutionizer. She has written Return to Modesty and Girls Gone Mild. She looks at modesty and chastity from a philosophical viewpoint and how it affects our culture (or basically how not abiding by these virtues affects our culture negatively). Shalit has several blogs, one of which is Modestly Yours, a group blog for women who value modesty. Unfortunately I have not kept up with this blog but I hope to start doing so. The post on October 10th (currently the latest one) is quite interesting. It is disturbing to see what companies do for media and attracting young people. Check it out for yourself. Occassionally I will be reflecting on some of her writings. What is neat is how there is Theology of the Body on one hand and Wendy Shalit on the other, both approaching chastity and modesty but from different angles. I'm sure they can be brought together into a relationship!

Beginning Journey

2008-10-30T00:04:00.000-05:00

Theology of the Body, chastity, the true roles of men and women and all things that go along with these topics have been major points of interest for me throughout the last few years. I would like to begin a journey in exploring these areas further and sharing my thoughts and also inspirations from others with you. We'll see where this goes. Eventually I would love to write a book in one of these areas, but first steps first.

I chose the title "Waiting for Pursuit" because as a woman that is exactly what I am doing. I believe (and I hope) that I am called to marriage some day. In the meantime I am waiting for that man to come into my life and to be the one pursuing me. Waiting is certainly difficult, especially when I feel our culture wants us to rush into things. We need to let patience consume our hearts and first let our hearts be set on fire with the love of Christ. If we do not love ourselves and certainly our Lord, then we cannot love another person as we are called to love them.

This will be the journey of love once found, love lost, and love waiting to blossom.